As time goes by...

I had a great holiday with my parents and my team members at Pangkor last week. Come to think of it, time really flies like crazy. I recalled the other time when we were planning for the trip, it was like in July, and without us knowing.. it's already passed. This trip indirectly made me realized something about my family, my team and most of all, myself.

My family.

Apparently, working hard and making the money and spending it on family is a great feeling. Dad commented that Pangkor is nothing much, but because it was fully paid and being there to just chill, felt great. Mum did enjoy the whole trip, even though there's nothing much to see. Both of them had fun with all the activities that the team had prepared. As for my grandma, she didn't play much with us, but she did enjoyed herself as well. Since it was a great trip where all of us can sit down and talk most of the time, she manage to relax herself and get herself out of the normal routine day and from the busy city life. My little brother on the other hand, find it rather boring though. My guess would be that he's already a teenage, which is why, that he would find it boring for him. For him, spending time with family means differently. However, I do hope that he felt something about the whole trip though. About working hard and giving back to the family.

My team.

It seems that, all of us are very much family based. Take for example, Feisal and Liza. They brought their children along. And to be honest, they didn't get to spend any time with us, the singles. They have their family to take care of and their children to spend time with. Coach emphasized quality time... rather than quantity time. Newton and Alicia together with their baby did spend most of the time together and taking care of the child. Hahaha. :D It's not easy to have a baby around and especially a very young one. However, I personally felt that it was a great exposure to Isaac since this was his first time travelling so far from home. Other than the married team mates... the rest of us, who are not so much single neither attached... spent most of the time hanging out together. We did mountain climbing and also hanging bridge crossing. We even went back to our childhood activities, cycling. :P Even though it was trying, but the feeling is great. It really gave me a meaning of what life is all about and gave me the thought that I am going to work hard next year, and give back to my family and build a life of my own.

Myself.

I realized that I am a family person. Very much. Even though I might not know exactly how to love them, but I love them in my own way. Liza and Lina commented that I am very much pampered by my parents and grandma... and honestly, yes. That's the truth. Being the eldest grand child, and being a boy, my grandma is very much pampering me. She is concerned as well, for my well being and for my life. Very much. I understand all parents are concern about their children more than themselves. In this case... I felt that my grandma is overly concern. :P But she helped me a lot in my career in Prudential. Without her in my life, I wouldn't have made it this far. Not only she gave me emotional strength, she gave me all she had to help me to be a better person.

And with this blog, I pledge, I want to give her all I have as well and to work hard for her. To give her back what she had helped me with and to make her feel proud and satisfied that all her helps are worthy of.

I am going to work hard, even harder next year to give her a life from my side. To be honest, she's not young anymore... going to be 70 years of age next year. If I don't run against time, I am afraid that I won't have much time to be filial to her. I don't want to live a life full of regrets for not having done my best. And this I pledge. I will never back down.

Popo, Ah Pa, Ah Ma, Ah Di.. both of them.. My team.. Coach.. My dear.. Everyone, thank you for believing in me and helping me. I appreciate all of you guys, and I am so glad that I am part of your life. Thank you so much for accepting who I am inside.

I love all of you. Next year, I am going to fight for all of you! Ah hoo!! :)

Our relationship

Yesterday, my dear spoke to me about what if I found someone better than he is. I was taken aback with his question. However, I confidently answered.

Learning what it takes to maintain a relationship, not that I'm great at, but at least I realized some things are working very well, of which is our focus on the person's strength rather than their weaknesses.

I realized that this is an important thing in a relationship. How can I be unhappy with a person if I'm focusing on his or her positive energy? It would be quite impossible for me to feel 2 emotions at one time. At first, he doesn't buy it, however, after presenting my point of view, he understood my point of view, of which I felt that he agreed as well.

It got me to thinking, what others are doing out there. It's not that I'm opposing on what they are doing, but it somehow does not end in a happy way. I realized that most are cheating their partners, behind their backs, having flings everywhere. They kept telling me that because we are still young in a relationship, therefore, it's different. They shared with me that during their 1st year in a relationship, usually, nothing would happen, which I disagree. I felt that during the 1st year, most of this cheating thing would happen. Because most people won't get used to being with another person and having responsibility out of the sudden when one have been with themselves for quite some time.

Like I share with my dear, the one thing that kept me from doing all these is the guilt that had broken me and my ex's life. Even though it was not really or directly my fault that has cause him such a way, but somehow or rather, I contributed to the cause of it. This particular incident had not only shaped my principles but it also turn my life around knowing that cheating will never get me what I wanted in life, and as well as in relationship.

With this guilt, it did not stall me from moving forward, rather shaped me to be better than who I was before.

Now, typing these down, at this moment, I am so happy and glad that I have found someone whom I felt very deeply that I can spend the rest of my life with. There is no right or wrong decision in life. When we make decision, we make sure that the decision that we make is the right one. I guess, this is so much true.

Most of us would spend a lot of time looking for the right one, or the one, but somehow or rather, I am quite confident that they will take a long long time to find that, or in other words, will never. Just that the principles of the above applies.

Dear, proposing and getting married with you is a commitment and a decision I made. I felt so right with you, and I am very sure that no one in this world would ever replace you. And if one day that I found someone that can, there is nothing wrong with you, but rather with me, because I have stopped bring out the best in you, rather the worse.

Have faith and believe in me, and yourself. We are able to make this relationship work. And we will never regret for giving it our very best till death do us part.

And with this, I am looking forward to our wedding on the 11th of February 2011. I believe we are going to have a fantastic day and we will be a role model to those out there, still searching and thought that PLU relationship will never work on a monogamy ground.

We will prove it to ourselves and to them that it can be done!

I love you. Hugs.