As time goes by...

I had a great holiday with my parents and my team members at Pangkor last week. Come to think of it, time really flies like crazy. I recalled the other time when we were planning for the trip, it was like in July, and without us knowing.. it's already passed. This trip indirectly made me realized something about my family, my team and most of all, myself.

My family.

Apparently, working hard and making the money and spending it on family is a great feeling. Dad commented that Pangkor is nothing much, but because it was fully paid and being there to just chill, felt great. Mum did enjoy the whole trip, even though there's nothing much to see. Both of them had fun with all the activities that the team had prepared. As for my grandma, she didn't play much with us, but she did enjoyed herself as well. Since it was a great trip where all of us can sit down and talk most of the time, she manage to relax herself and get herself out of the normal routine day and from the busy city life. My little brother on the other hand, find it rather boring though. My guess would be that he's already a teenage, which is why, that he would find it boring for him. For him, spending time with family means differently. However, I do hope that he felt something about the whole trip though. About working hard and giving back to the family.

My team.

It seems that, all of us are very much family based. Take for example, Feisal and Liza. They brought their children along. And to be honest, they didn't get to spend any time with us, the singles. They have their family to take care of and their children to spend time with. Coach emphasized quality time... rather than quantity time. Newton and Alicia together with their baby did spend most of the time together and taking care of the child. Hahaha. :D It's not easy to have a baby around and especially a very young one. However, I personally felt that it was a great exposure to Isaac since this was his first time travelling so far from home. Other than the married team mates... the rest of us, who are not so much single neither attached... spent most of the time hanging out together. We did mountain climbing and also hanging bridge crossing. We even went back to our childhood activities, cycling. :P Even though it was trying, but the feeling is great. It really gave me a meaning of what life is all about and gave me the thought that I am going to work hard next year, and give back to my family and build a life of my own.

Myself.

I realized that I am a family person. Very much. Even though I might not know exactly how to love them, but I love them in my own way. Liza and Lina commented that I am very much pampered by my parents and grandma... and honestly, yes. That's the truth. Being the eldest grand child, and being a boy, my grandma is very much pampering me. She is concerned as well, for my well being and for my life. Very much. I understand all parents are concern about their children more than themselves. In this case... I felt that my grandma is overly concern. :P But she helped me a lot in my career in Prudential. Without her in my life, I wouldn't have made it this far. Not only she gave me emotional strength, she gave me all she had to help me to be a better person.

And with this blog, I pledge, I want to give her all I have as well and to work hard for her. To give her back what she had helped me with and to make her feel proud and satisfied that all her helps are worthy of.

I am going to work hard, even harder next year to give her a life from my side. To be honest, she's not young anymore... going to be 70 years of age next year. If I don't run against time, I am afraid that I won't have much time to be filial to her. I don't want to live a life full of regrets for not having done my best. And this I pledge. I will never back down.

Popo, Ah Pa, Ah Ma, Ah Di.. both of them.. My team.. Coach.. My dear.. Everyone, thank you for believing in me and helping me. I appreciate all of you guys, and I am so glad that I am part of your life. Thank you so much for accepting who I am inside.

I love all of you. Next year, I am going to fight for all of you! Ah hoo!! :)

Our relationship

Yesterday, my dear spoke to me about what if I found someone better than he is. I was taken aback with his question. However, I confidently answered.

Learning what it takes to maintain a relationship, not that I'm great at, but at least I realized some things are working very well, of which is our focus on the person's strength rather than their weaknesses.

I realized that this is an important thing in a relationship. How can I be unhappy with a person if I'm focusing on his or her positive energy? It would be quite impossible for me to feel 2 emotions at one time. At first, he doesn't buy it, however, after presenting my point of view, he understood my point of view, of which I felt that he agreed as well.

It got me to thinking, what others are doing out there. It's not that I'm opposing on what they are doing, but it somehow does not end in a happy way. I realized that most are cheating their partners, behind their backs, having flings everywhere. They kept telling me that because we are still young in a relationship, therefore, it's different. They shared with me that during their 1st year in a relationship, usually, nothing would happen, which I disagree. I felt that during the 1st year, most of this cheating thing would happen. Because most people won't get used to being with another person and having responsibility out of the sudden when one have been with themselves for quite some time.

Like I share with my dear, the one thing that kept me from doing all these is the guilt that had broken me and my ex's life. Even though it was not really or directly my fault that has cause him such a way, but somehow or rather, I contributed to the cause of it. This particular incident had not only shaped my principles but it also turn my life around knowing that cheating will never get me what I wanted in life, and as well as in relationship.

With this guilt, it did not stall me from moving forward, rather shaped me to be better than who I was before.

Now, typing these down, at this moment, I am so happy and glad that I have found someone whom I felt very deeply that I can spend the rest of my life with. There is no right or wrong decision in life. When we make decision, we make sure that the decision that we make is the right one. I guess, this is so much true.

Most of us would spend a lot of time looking for the right one, or the one, but somehow or rather, I am quite confident that they will take a long long time to find that, or in other words, will never. Just that the principles of the above applies.

Dear, proposing and getting married with you is a commitment and a decision I made. I felt so right with you, and I am very sure that no one in this world would ever replace you. And if one day that I found someone that can, there is nothing wrong with you, but rather with me, because I have stopped bring out the best in you, rather the worse.

Have faith and believe in me, and yourself. We are able to make this relationship work. And we will never regret for giving it our very best till death do us part.

And with this, I am looking forward to our wedding on the 11th of February 2011. I believe we are going to have a fantastic day and we will be a role model to those out there, still searching and thought that PLU relationship will never work on a monogamy ground.

We will prove it to ourselves and to them that it can be done!

I love you. Hugs.

With God, All Things Are Possible

Today we talked about God. It doesn't really matter which God you believed in, I believe all God across the world teaches good to people and provide faith and hope. Rather than arguing which God is true, I will keep the sharing to perspective and what I've learnt out of the movie I've watched called, Facing The Giants.

'Facing The Giants', a movie that portrays a American football coach that had been with a school, coaching his players for 6 years and had never won a championship. At the verge where is faced with life challenges, his wife and him could not have babies, and he is going to be out of job, he broke down and prayed hard for answers from God. He questioned why is he put through such a big challenge in life, breaking him every pieces that he has. And through prayers, he understood the meaning of life and the reason why he was placed in this world. He accepted that he was placed in this world for a reason, and that reason is to worship Him and through him, that the glory of God can be praised. Sharing this newly found beliefs, he shared his philosophy with his players and that had made a difference in his players. Their faith and their hope. Their meaning of life. And what they are living for.

That would sum up the movie in a nutshell. However, if you guys would like to watch the movie, go get it. You will never regret it.

Here, I would like to share what I have learnt from the movie. Might differs from everyone, but most importantly everyone of us, picked up something from the sharing and help make us a better person.

First and foremost, the one thing that I learnt is, "With God, all things are possible." This had created an impact in my whole movie watching session. We humans, I believe are capable of things and yet we are weak by nature. We lose faith easily. Give in to disappointment, often discouraged by the challenges we faced in life. And so, we need something stronger and more powerful to believe in, to hold us together in one piece.

In this case, I want to believe in something more powerful overseeing me, on my doings, and my achievements. In the movie, Coach Grant Taylor shared with his players, on one of the practice sessions, he shared, "My actions will always reflects my beliefs." Quoting a scene where David Childers is going to do a 51-yard kick, he walked to the field looking down on the ground and shaking his head as he lift head towards the goal. Guess what his belief is? Yes. You are right. That he is going to miss the kick. He's telling himself that, by his actions. And this will lead to the next point that Coach Taylor pointed out to him, when the Giants called for a time out. Coach Taylor ran to David and shared, "If you have already accepted defeat, that's what you will get."

That sentence strike me right at the heart. Just like how Kinders' brothers always shared with us from their book, "You will never get a sale without first expecting it." The sentence may differ, but the message across stays the same.

Next, when Coach Taylor is considering that he should stop coaching, the pastor of the school came to him and shared with him a story. The story is impactful and here it is...

"Once there are 2 farmers praying very hard for rain. Everyday they pray for rain, so that they can harvest their wheats. However, only 1 of the farmer, earnestly go to the field and plant his seed. Now, which farmer is ready for the rain? Which one are you?"

From this story, I learnt that, despite sitting there and praying for success to come, I have to plant my seed. Continue doing what I must do, until God felt that I'm ready, and so he will give me the success. This story also reflects Mr. Chan Chee Hin's sharing at Tropicana the other day about success. Everyone wants success, but only a handful is ready to receive it. That's the difference between successful agents and not successful agents.

In this life, I learnt that I have to have something bigger to live for than just making money and provide for my family. Beside those materialistic and monetary goals, I must have a purpose in life. When my purpose is of a bigger picture, then the rewards that I gained from life will provide all the needs that we long for. This thought was triggered by Coach Taylor when he asked himself, "What am I living for?"

Back to the story, Brock Kelley is the captain of the team. This scene pointed out 3 main points in life. One... "Our attitude's like the aroma of our heart. If our attitude stinks, it only means that our heart is not right." In this scene, Brock doubt the capability of his team mates and at the same time, he questioned the way Coach Taylor is leading the team. That had reflected his attitude towards not only himself but also towards everyone and everything around him, which also means that his heart is not right.

Next point that the scene pointed out is, "Give everything I have, do my level best, and leave everything to God." This scene, Brock was called to do the "Death Crawl." However, he was blind folded and made a commitment to give everything he has, and to give his very best. Half way through the crawl, he was about to give up, Coach Taylor motivated him and reminded him to give everything he has. Give everything until he has nothing left. Leave nothing behind. Move forward. He was reminded that he can do it. The last point that Coach Taylor brought up in this scene was that towards the end of the crawl, Brock stopped and felt so tired. His arms are burning and the teammate that he's carrying on his back is very heavy. Coach Taylor yelled, "When you have used up all the strength, it's all heart from there." To me, that means our strength is limited, but the power of the heart is unlimited. When we are at the verge of breaking down, that's where the heart will kick in and pull us through life. I personally learnt that is so true. I still remembered that when I fight for my KunMing trip during May and June, I was so tired of running and driving around, sharing with everyone about the savings account, believing that I will be able to make it to KunMing, it was the heart that was at work. It was my heart that kept me going and forget about the tiredness. It was my heart that gave me the strength to fight all I have until I have nothing left. And so, I got what I fight for.

This movie had made me cried. I felt that I had not given my very best and I was easily distracted by external factors. All because of one thing that I lack of, believe. Believe that when I have given my very best, my bestest best, until I have nothing left, and leave everything else to God, life will reward me according to the effort that I had put in.

With this new post, I had pledged to give my very best and bestest best, for the next 10 weeks to fight all out for my Egypt. Nothing can stop me from achieving my dream except myself. But first thing first... give my very best, until I have nothing left, and leave everything else to God.

At this point...

Okay, this is outrageous. I've tried to start typing again, and I never really gotten myself to do it! Gosh!! It seems like I have so much to type about... until I have nothing to type. I don't even know where to start. Alright.. let's see. Let's get myself together and start from this May. Mid of the year. That should get me started, I hoped.

During the 2nd quarter of the year, life has been great! Not only I'm satisfied with my work, I'm satisfied with my relationship as well. Well, come to think about it, work was not that satisfying after all. -Laughed- I had not been working hard enough for the passed 3 months. Till now, realized that I've fallen quite far behind and it need a little more effort to get back up. The momentum is broken.

This September, another 5 more days to go, will end the 3rd quarter of the year. And looking back, there are much regrets, of which I know if I had done a good job, it wouldn't be there in the first place. But however, I feel, without regrets, how else would I differentiate satisfaction. And therefore, with a wake up call, from people around me and my coach, I've picked up my momentum again. Though cases are not coming in yet, but the activities are there. In place.

How did I get myself back on track again? It was the gather of all the informations and the wake up calls from everyone and one of the event would be my visit to the church last Sunday. The pastor shared with us some values of which I was reminded that life is too short to be just little. And so... I would share it with you and as a way of recollecting my memories of what I have taken back to myself.

The pastor shared with me, 3 major points.

1 - Courage

2 - Focus

3 - Faith

COURAGE. One very big word. He said that one may have the strength to do a thing, but without courage to doing it, he/she is powerless. On the other hand, one may not have the strength to do it, but with courage, he/she is someone.

How I relate this point back to myself was, when I was fighting for my KunMing challenge with Prudential, I went all out. I didn't care about what other people say... or should I say, I was too busy looking for opportunities, that I selectively choose what I want to hear and see in life. And my life changed. Not only I got my KunMing challenge won, I realized that I am capable of working hard and fighting for my dream. I wanted SO BADLY to go to KunMing. So badly till nothing could stop me. The feeling was great. In other words, I had the courage to take up the challenge that Prudential threw then, knowingly I have the strength to do well.

Forgotten the bigger picture, I slacked with Egypt. I got tired of fighting. I got DISCOURAGED. I gave up. Suddenly felt that it was out of reached, and so, I gave up. I slowed down and I began to build habits that is un-productive.

Having been to the church on Sunday reminded me of what I'm fighting for in life. Not just trips.. not just money.. but for my family and my loved ones. They say, "When you have big dreams, be prepared to face big obstacles." I've totally forgotten about this Law of Universe.

Egypt is the prestige Star Club for Prudential Wealth Planners to go for holiday. It's a reward that Prudential gives to their top producers in the company, and out of 10,000 agents Prudential has, only 10-15% of us qualify. Qualifying not only means that I get to visit my 1st, 7 Wonders of the World, I get to be on newspaper, to be recognized as one of the producers in Prudential. Typing these words down made me excited and believe that I can do this. Remembering what my coach shared with me, she said, "If I want something that I never had, I have to do something that I never did." And so, my journey starts again. I felt great!! Because I know, I can do it. Now that there is still time, I have to change my approach and fight for what I want, with COURAGE and strength.

FOCUS. "Focus on your goal!!" Reading the sentence carefully, I realized that there's no 's' at the end of the word, 'goal'. That means.. I need to focus on ONE goal, at a time. Having realize that... I refocus myself. Repaint my bigger picture to ONE goal, EGYPT. Nothing else.

I was DISTRACTED away from my goal. I was distracted by my own fear. Fear of losing. Fear of trying hard, and gets nothing. And that's where I had lost the battle, even without a war. The words of wisdom from Sun Tzu applies. It hurts and I regret having slacking off. However, I still have a bit of time, and stopped myself from thinking of the past, rather, FOCUS on the present and believing again.

The pastor shared, "Focus gives energy. It guides efficiency. Gets thing done." And so, it is. Second it with Anthony Robins, "Whatever thing I put energy into, will grow!" Believing that I taking productive and constructive actions, I will be able to hit my Egypt by the last quarter. Now that is clear, I'm focusing only how to get opportunities and keep asking for a chance. I believe that with God's power, doing my level best, He will reward me with the HONEST effort that I put in. Now, I just FOCUS!!!

Lastly, FAITH. "You gotta have faith for that to work!!" Words of the vampire - Fright Night. I still remember that movie very much. There's where I got my name, "Vincent". Since I have a pair of vampire teeth. That story aside, it is the sentence that excites me. "You gotta have faith". Yes. The pastor shared with me, whatever we are doing, never doubt. Believe that with the right mental attitude, right platform, right place, right values, the right thing will happen. I gotta have faith. I gotta believe so much so that I will be there, at Cairo, Egypt. Believe it so much until it's like a religion. Until I am unmovable.

The pastor shared with us a story to illustrate this.. "When we are in the plane, often a time, during take offs or landings, we are asked to fasten our seat belts to keep us where we are. So that in case we are shaken, there's the seat belts to hold us down and keep us unmovable."

And in life, the 'seat belt' is FAITH. To me, faith is the basic of principles. It is the principles that I have, that keeps me believing and doing what I feel is right. What may seem like an outcast may not be wrong. What may be the minority may not be popular. But what is right to me, will make the difference in my life. Having faith is an important part of my life. Often a time... I was DISAPPOINTED with life. And that's where my faith has to come in to strengthen me down, and hold me, unmovable.

During my fights and knocking to open doors to opportunities, I was disappoint all the time. I was disappoint by people. I was disappoint by event. And the truth is, I was disappoint by myself.

Being there to listen, rather than just 'hearing' all these, slapped me to awareness, that I was DISCOURAGED, DISTRACTED and DISAPPOINTED. And acknowledging those feelings, I had brought myself back up again, and walk this journey. Yes. I'm hurt. I'm bruised. But I'm still alive. Healthy. I can still fight. The journey has just begin, and I'm no where to give up again. What is life to me, if I don't face discouragements, distractions and disappointments. It's just like the story of someone, who had never felt happy before, can never recognize happiness. And someone who had never felt sad, will be unable to differentiate happiness from sadness.

I want to fight. I want to live. I want a life. I only live once, and I want to make the best out of what I have in life.